nefhiriel: (Bruce - Come in Black?)
[personal profile] nefhiriel
No need for the obituary, or eulogy (lovely as I’m sure you guys would have written them…)Yes, I’m still alive and kicking! Literally. I just started karate lessons last week! (Yes, yes, go back and throw rotten fruit at the pun, now that you realize the depth of its lameness…XD) 

They make you recite this motto at the end of each class: “Might for right.” I can only assume they see people like me (flat-footed, dyslexic, and confused, with just enough muscle to stay upright and type) and automatically get all panicked with the possible harm I might do upon being armed with the knowledge of the martial arts. They are SO right! *assumes Ninja Pose* ‘Course, right now I’m still a “no-belt”, and I have to all but flap my arms around (which is not the way it’s supposed to be done, surprisingly) in order to keep my balance while standing on one foot. It’s sad, really. And they have you doing all this in front of mirror—and they want you to look at it—so I get to SEE myself doing this. Believe me, laughing doesn’t help either (even if you were allowed to laugh hysterically in class).  


The lady who taught our first class was really nice—at least I sensed she was, deep, deep, deep down. LOL, she really was, but she was also really tough, even on us poor newbies. There were a couple of sections of time where she’d just drill on doing different stances, switching (at a split-second rate) from doing it left to right. Most of the time I was turning the opposite direction, just as everyone was turning the other way. *attempts to melt into the floor* It was embarrassing at the time, but actually it’s quite a funny mental picture looking back. I must’ve made a good first impression, there…


Oh yes! And then my very BEST mistake. I crack up every time I think about it. Several times when the teacher had us do defensive stances, I started putting my left arm behind my back. Mr. Binford, my fencing instructor, would have been proud…my karate teacher, not quite so impressed, seeing as I was *supposed* to be using that arm to guard my solar plexus (as opposed to my lower back). When I told her I kept doing it because I was used to holding my arm that way for fencing, she said, “Oh, now I’m afraid…” LOL.


The stretches they have you do are Just. Plain. Painful. Eventually, (I heard from a friend also in these classes) they teach you how to work up your flexibility to the point where you can do the splits. Ouch, I can’t wait for THAT… I’m sure they’ll wait till I’ve mastered touching my toes--without bending my knees--first. XD


It’s supposed to be a three-year black-belt course. Heh…we’ll see. I may eventually get the moves down, but there’s the small problem of them wanting me to scream “Hi-ya!” with every punch. Yelling “Hi-ya!” and shyness do not a good match make… *shakes head sadly* Honestly, who would’ve thought they actually SAID that??? I thought “Hi-ya” was an exaggerated product of Hollywood-ization and parodies. Apparently not. It really doesn’t do anything for my self-confidence, though, when all I can get out is a squeaky, high-pitched, mouse-type noise. Seriously, you can’t even hear me above the guys (who are having fun with all this shouting), and it really, really isn’t helping me keep the laughter down, so do I have to do it? Heh. Maybe I’ll just try mouthing it this next lesson. =P


*goes back to Ninja Pose and attempts to do an elaborate kick, and goes sprawling on the floor* I shall learn, or I shall die! Alright, so maybe someone should be preparing an obituary for me. Luckily, I have no dearth of excellent writers for friends. Say something nice about me, hmm? *bg*  

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April 2011

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